Goodnight Sundance

Cancer. 

Only a few things come to mind when you hear the word. 

Fight it. Beat it. Lose. 

Two out of the three I'll take. The other one I can do without. 

Sundance beat his first form of cancer in a month and a half no problem. The second one hit us faster than we could react. Nine hours after they found it bleeding into his stomach, he was lying lifeless in our arms. 

Whenever I face death, I immediately start asking questions.  

How did this happen? Who's to blame?  How could we have stopped this? Why can't we have just a little more time? 

I want answers. Death has none. 

In Sundance's case, maybe it's for the best. We never had questions for each other anyway. 

Sundance - you never questioned where we were going, you were just excited to go. I never asked why you had to stop and pee every few steps, or who was walking who. You never asked why we had to go to the top of the mountain, you just knew.

I never questioned why you couldn't catch a ball or swim. You never asked me why I wasn't better at my job or more successful in life. 

You never asked if a stranger wanted to pet you, you always just assumed. I never questioned why you could never get enough love after hours of attention from everyone in the room.

You never questioned why our daily routines made you so happy. I never asked how you could get excited about the same meal for breakfast and dinner every day. 

You never asked where this new baby came from, you just curled up next to him and welcomed him to the family. 

I never asked how you got to be so great. You never questioned loving us. 

It wasn't until those very last moments I ever saw a question in your eyes. As the vet took the final steps to stop your heart, you lunged towards me with your last ounce of strength, "Why is this happening, why, I'm not ready to go?" 

I wasn't ready either buddy. If it happened ten years from now, I still wouldn't be ready or able to explain. 

You were the start of our family, the constant our days revolved around.

You were our goofy pup. Always will be.

Goodnight Sundance. We'll love you forever.